About a month ago on my the Twitter account for this blog (@diminishstigma) I wrote quickly saying I have been neglecting the blog since January, and that I would explain in a month or so. Well today, I will be finally divulging why I have been sadly neglecting the blog.
So heres my secret, what I’ve been keeping hidden from my followers since January…
That’s right! This blogger is pregnant! 21 weeks last Thursday to be exact!
Me and my boyfriend Michael found out in January that I was expecting a little one. We are beyond excited to have this child. It’s been quite difficult to keep this secret in, but I have waited so that I could actually show a photo of my sweet baby bump. Me and Michael have begun the process of getting a two bedroom apartment so that we are able to have a nursery for this little one. I’ve even began to coupon for diapers (which I currently have stacked away in my closet and at my parents house!) and sales for onsies and shirts for the baby.And got so excited that I began my registry at Babies R Us this past week, (I spent two full hours in their!)
As of yet we do not know the gender of this cutie, but will hopefully (fingers crossed) learn by the end of the month (ultrasound is on May 21st, seems so far away!) which I will definitely let everyone know once we know, if you would like!? Michael believes we are having a boy, and half the family, and friends think it’s a boy, were the other half thinks girl (mainly due to mostly girls born to my side of the family.)
Obvious, due to the topic of this blog, people that have found out about my pregnancy has thought it necessary to let me know how it might not be right for me to have this child due to my mental health issues. What these people do not understand is this child was a godsend! We found out about this pregnancy at the perfect time, this child was both mine and Michael’s miracle. Due to this child, after many, many years of refusing recovery I have FINALLY accepted recovery. As you know I have not self harmed in six whole months, no relapse, no burning, cutting, and picking at skin. On top of that, was my alcohol abuse, I was drinking to much, just to numb the pain and to help me sleep. I am proud to say I havn’t drank in months, not one sip since I found out I was pregnant. Since finding out I was pregnant I have not restricted food, starving myself, and I have not intentionally purged my food (other then regular pregnancy morning sickness) I am doing wonders with my recovery, finding happiness in the small things, like a baby kick, a cup of tea, a good meal, and a warm sunny day.
I’m so happy to be a mother. I grew up having the nickname “mother hen” I was always giving advice, always hugging, and cuddling my friends when they needed a supportive shoulder. I’ve dealt with newborns all the way up to high school due to Sunday School,which I loved taking care of the little ones and helping them play and learn, and even though I’m scared at times of not being a good enough mother (which is a natural worry) I do believe I am ready. I’ve secretly wanted to be a stay at home mother for many years, and even though it might be happening just a couple years earlier then I planned, this dream is coming true.
I’m proud of this child, he/she has helped Michael and I so much already even though he/she has not been born yet.
I hope you understand know why I haven’t been able to write as much, keeping my pregnancy secret throughout posts have been difficult, and since I’ve changed from reading psychology magazines and textbooks to parenting magazines and parent magazines I have found it difficult to think of post ideas. I’m still trying to keep this blog up, but with planning a move (even though I just moved a month ago) and planning doctors appointments and baby shopping and such it has been hard. Thank you for my followers that have stayed with me through these past months, even though I haven’t been writing, and thank you to the new followers I might possibly receive once I post this post.